Just Keep Flying

I've been sick this week. Nothing major, just a cold, but I don't like being sick. I don't think anyone does. Now for a tangent that I promise I will get back to. My mom had multiple sclerosis. It's an autoimmune disease that causes the immune system to be over active and attack the body's nervous system. So, she very rarely got anything like a cold or the flu. Second tangent that is also important, emotions in my father's family run close to the surface. I also got this curse/gift. So what do all of these things have to do with each other? Well, I'm usually pretty good at controlling my emotions, keeping them in check. When I'm sick though, the control gets lost in my body's fight against the illness and the emotions just leak through. I'll start crying for almost no reason. That's how I usually know if I'm really sick, or if I'm just having an off day.

When I get sick, I usually want a bit of sympathy. Who doesn't? Well, my sweet mother wasn't so good at that, mostly because she didn't get sick. She never really understood it. And her mother and grandmother were hypochondriacs, so if I wasn't throwing up, or if I didn't have a fever, I wasn't truly sick, and should get on with life. Oh, she'd "poor baby" me, but if I wasn't completely incapacitated by the illness, I should be ok to keep doing what I should be doing. Now, my mother knew what it was to be sick, because when she did get something it GOT her. I've never seen someone as sick as she had been. But when I'm feeling crappy or cruddy as she would say, I just wanted to call and cry to her. She'd listen to me and then tell me to sleep it off. So then I'd call my dad, who'd let me cry, and tell me what I should do, go get medicine or go see the doctor.

When the tears started this week, and I knew I was dealing with more than just a case of ennui, I had one of those moments where I missed my mother so completely that the tears became more insistent. But as soon as they started, they stopped, because I could feel her presence, and the assurance that I was going to be just fine. Yes, the cold would keep me low for a few days, but nothing will keep me down for long. I'm meant to soar, and even from the Heaven my mother is still showing me how to use my wings.