Monday?

I woke up today and braced myself for a storm. Not the weather, but the battle that had been raging inside of me for a week. I've had a migraine, and anybody who's had a migraine knows how awful they are. And I had been suffering a particular hell, in that I had a regular head-exploding, light and sound sensitive headache on top of an ophthalmic migraine, which produces (in my case) shimmering white floaters in my vision that I can't see through or around. They aren't fun and not exactly easy to work around, and I haven't been able to take any time off, so I did what I could to suffer through.

So, this morning after I had finished getting ready, which is about the time I really start to wake up, I noticed that the dull pressure that usually greets me when still nursing a migraine was gone. I was cautiously optimistic. I walked out my front door only a few minutes late, and arrived at work with a smile on my face. One of my favorite songs was on the radio on the drive in. It's kind of sad, I don't remember which song it was now, but it started the day off right.  The pile of orders I needed to take care of wasn't as high as I usually expect for a Monday morning. So I dived right in. And I had a productive day, though my Inbox may not agree. I got quite a bit accomplished, and I'm trying to keep that stress level down.

But that's not why I'm in such a good mood right now. And I don't know that I could really explain why I am.  It could be that Life is always a surprise. I've learned that you can never know what to expect. There is no way to predict what will come next. And I don't know that I'd want to. I may not always like what gets thrown at me. Or when life pulls the rug out from under me. But then there are moments like I had today, when you've talked to a long-lost, beloved friend who still knows you well enough to suggest a new band to listen to. And while your head may not hurt so much anymore, you hesitate to head-bang, so you stand there and smile and turn the music up a little louder.  Because this is what's been missing, even if no one else can understand it.

Drifting

So, I'm sitting in a hotel room in St. George, Utah. I'm here on a business trip to do a little training for the company I work for. I should probably be trying to catch up on some work so that I don't stress out on Friday when I'm back at the office, but I just can't make myself open my email. Then I thought, "Well, you haven't written for the blog in a while." So, here we go. I don't know that I have anything to really talk about, so I'm winging it. Should be fun.

I know I haven't updated in awhile. There's no real reason. Mostly, I'm a slacker. I was trying to get out of my head for a bit. With what should have been my wedding day coming and going (which wasn't as bad as I expected) and the trip that should have been the honeymoon (which turned out to be an AWESOME family vacation minus a brother and sister) I decided to take a break from examining my own thoughts and feelings on everything. I decided to live in the moment and not over-analyze anything. And I have to say, it was pretty successful.

I haven't really learned anything new about myself. But I have learned that my routine has helped me maintain some sanity. I know that pretty soon the routine will become a rut, and I'll cross that bridge when I get to it. But for now, I'm content with where I am, and what I'm doing.  I figure that at least for now, I'm not drowning. I'm treading water. I can do this for awhile, and when the time comes, I can start to swim again. And I can feel that time coming. Who knows how soon that will be though? I'm ok with letting myself go with the flow, drifting in the current that God has me in, in this great river of Life.

So, what's next? Maybe another episode of my new favorite show? (It's Chuck, in case anyone was wondering.) Or maybe I'll do a little web surfing? (Fascinating stuff to be StumbledUpon, trust me!) Either way, I'll be entertained. Not that it's hard to do.